We’re a couple of weeks into the semester, and I know many of you are starting to feel out the dynamics of your group. For some, conversation flows easily. For others—especially new groups or groups with a lot of new members—it can take time for people to really open up and feel connected. That’s normal!
Here are a few practical ways you can help foster connection, encourage the quieter members, and build trust in your group:
Lead with vulnerability.
The best way to invite openness is to model it. Share about your own struggles, doubts, or even funny failures. When you’re real, others will feel safe to be real too.
Start with lighthearted icebreakers.
Simple questions like “What was your favorite TV show growing up?” or “If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?” can get everyone talking without pressure. These Table Discussion Cards are a great tool.
Consider breaking into smaller groups.
Sometimes people are more willing to share in pairs or groups of three. This helps quieter voices be heard and builds connections more quickly. We did this in one of the groups I led last year, and I was blown away by how people responded.
Affirm every contribution.
Even a short comment is worth noticing. Thank people for sharing and let them know their voice matters. Don't underestimate the power of positive reinforcements. What gets rewarded gets repeated.
Be comfortable with silence.
Don’t rush to fill every gap. Sometimes introverts need a little extra time before they speak up. I know it can feel awkward to sit in silence, but I’ve found that gold often comes from those moments—the deeper, more thoughtful responses usually rise to the surface when people are given just a bit more space.
Create space outside of group.
Text encouragement, grab coffee with a member, or share a prayer request mid-week. Small touches outside of group time build trust inside group time.
Remember—community takes time to grow. Your consistency, intentionality, and vulnerability as a leader set the tone for the whole group. Getting people to open up can be a challenge, but an even more difficult challenge is knowing what to do when certain group members dominate the conversation. We’ll cover some practical ways to handle that in next week’s email.
We are praying for you as you shepherd people into deeper relationships with God and each other!
Grateful for you,
Nathan